Hello

I wish the couple a happy and lasting community. I wish you a fruitful community, daughter in law blessed with children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I pray that the ugly word “divorce” does not appear in your family’s dictionary in the name of Jesus. Amen.

My message to you is based on the conflict that often arises between multiple wives and their father-in-law. Few women say nice things about their mother-in-law. This has caused me a lot of worries over the years. Today’s daughter-in-law will soon be her daughter-in-law. Is this conflict a vicious circle as it has been for centuries?

I want you to understand some facts that can help you enjoy your marriage and relationship with your mother-in-law more. I write as a neutral observer, without taking sides. As I understand it, there are three sides to the conflict: husband, wife and mother-in-law, who play different roles in the crisis.

In our traditional African society, a woman who marries a man marries him along with all the members of the family, that is, the whole extended family. She becomes the gift for pregnant daughter in law of the whole family, not just the husband. Many women have a “just me and my husband” orientation. This may work in Europe, but certainly not in African marriages. Consider this important question.

 “Honor your father and your mother.

 Your parents in this situation are not only your biological parents, but also your relatives, such as your mother-in-law, who are parental persons. That is why you should honor her as your mother, respecting and loving her, showing that you have a good upbringing and good manners.

One thing for many old maids is their prejudice that her mother-in-law is bad. With this idea, they married with a mindset ready to fight to keep their mother-in-law in her “place”. With this misconception, they dug their own grave with their own hands from the very beginning of the marriage.

A woman who marries with a hostile attitude will never see anything good in what her mother-in-law says or does. Some parents have good intentions based on emotional concern for their child’s well-being. His actions are misinterpreted by the hostile father-in-law as an act of curiosity, leading to avoidable fights.

Many women have also expressed a desire for their mother-in-law to die before marrying her child.

 This is a bad idea that could be a boomerang. Do you want your mother to die before God’s appointed time? Would not a mother want to enjoy the fruits of her labor with her children? If your future gift for future daughter in law wishes you an early death and you know how you feel?

Some wives feel that they can fire a mother-in-law who is disturbing them. How does that happen? If you do, do you think your husband’s other mothers-in-law will raise their hands and endure the humiliation of one of them? They will support him and make mistakes, but how do you live there? This means that the marriage can be almost destroyed.

Many sons love their mother passionately, and no sane person would see his mother expelled from his wife and remain silent. Many women who foolishly used confrontation with mothers-in-law, especially mothers-in-law, have regretted it.

There are two immutable spiritual laws:

 The law of sowing and reaping in Genesis 8:22 and the law of sowing and reaping in Galatians 6: 7. If you sow love for your relatives, no matter how hard you try, you will surely reap it.

As powerful as your mother-in-law is, try to show love to her and to your other mothers-in-law. Many of them will eventually see you in a good light and become your friends. If the occasion demands it, they will fight for you in your battle. Always maintain a loving relationship with your mother-in-law. This is your responsibility.

Proverbs 14: 1 says that “the wise woman has built her house, but the foolish one is tearing it down with her own hands.” Wisdom is essential in relationships with husbands and relatives. Wisdom, not confrontation, is one of the bricks

 Your parents in this situation are not only your biological parents, but also your relatives, such as your mother-in-law, who are parental persons. That is why you should honor her as your mother, respecting and loving her, showing that you have a good upbringing and good manners.

One thing for many old maids is their prejudice that her mother-in-law is bad. With this idea, they married with a mindset ready to fight to keep their mother-in-law in her “place”. With this misconception, they dug their own grave with their own hands from the very beginning of the marriage.